Last week, out of nowhere, God gave us a present- a giant sinkhole straight down into the depths of Hades. But what can Guatemala City do with a giant hole? How do they monetize it and turn these lemons into lemonade? We’ve come up with 9 suggestions that we think will be perfect for them.

9. Turn it into a prison


Guatemala has one of the highest violent crime rates in the world, and though most tourists go through the country incident free, many have been mugged, carjacked, assualted and killed. So how does Guatemala increase their tourism while simultaneously decreasing violent crime? Just lower the crooks into the hole and let them live without light for a while.

8. Plug up the hole with Megashark


According to this site, Megashark, the menace of the deep sea, is about 40 m long. That would mean that he would still have plenty of wiggle room in the sinkhole. And maybe, just maybe, he could explore the underground caverns of Mexico City and have a showdown with the Loch Ness Monster in Canada.

7. Fill the hole with Popcorn


The average American consumes 52 quarts of popcorn per year, according to the Popcorn Council (which actually does exist). That means if we all pitched in, it would take us 125 days to fill the hole with delicious, salty popcorn.

6. Turn it into a Casino


Casinos make billions annually, and Guatemala isn’t rich. In fact, Americans spend almost $100 billion at the casinos all over the nation annually. Considering that the GDP of Guatemala is $36 billion, they might benefit from a new casino. My name suggestion: The Money Pit.

5. Bungee Jumping


I don’t think I really need to have a long explanation of why this would be absolutely awesome.

4. Fill it with the world’s trash


It really wouldn’t take very long to do, and it’d be a perfect way to pretend like nothing ever happened there, once you cover it up with asphalt.

3. Drop a Sarlacc in there


First of all, I’m a huge Star Wars nerd. Second of all, what country wouldn’t benefit from having a giant, mysterious, infinitely hungry monster to attract tourists and dispose of rif-raff? Trust me, it’d be awesome.

2. World’s Largest Cup of Coffee


If the world committed to quitting coffee for 14 short days, we could fill that hole with 5 billion liters of joe. I’m not sure what Cuidad de Guatemala would do with that much coffee, but it would make the whole place would smell awesome.

1. Push Perez Hilton in


The loudest mouth on the Internet would be well served by being shoved into the the mouth to hell, where he hopefully won’t have access to the Internet. It’s nothing against Perez as a person, just as a blogger.

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