August 12, 2012 | Marcus Varner | Leave a comment College can stretch beyond your human limitations. But what if you were more than human? What if you were, in fact, super-human? Granted you had the right superpowers, you could definitely make a mark as a student-athlete or become the most brilliant person on campus. But which power would be the most useful? To help you decide, we’ve provided the following list of seven superpowers that would be perfect for struggling college students: 1. X-ray vision Not for that, kids. We have our mind on loftier deeds, like spying the answers to your next test through your professor’s briefcase or making sure your roommate is clothed before opening the door to your dorm room. 2. Telepathy With the power to read and communicate with others via the mind, you could make everyone think you are the smartest person on campus. You would know the answer to every question your professors asked. You would know everyone’s deepest secrets. As long as you took your test in the same room as the smartest kid in the class, you could pillage her brain for all the right answers. Of course, all of that reeks of dishonesty, which we would never advocate. 3. Super-speed What more could a time-strapped college student want? You could do your shopping, complete homework assignments, take tests, and do your laundry in minutes, instead of hours. You could roll out of bed two minutes before the start of class and still make it on time. The only power that could be better would be… 4. Space-time manipulation You wouldn’t need super-speed if you could actually bend the fabric of time and space to your purposes. You could go back in time to give yourself the answers to tests. Or how about slowing time to finish a night’s worth of homework instantly? Instead of trudging across campus to get to class, you could just open a wormhole directly to your seat. 5. Hyper-intelligence Of course, there’s no need to even go to class if you have a gigantic, super-smart brain that operates at a thousand times the speed of normal human’s. In fact, you could probably just test out of every class and finish in one semester. 6. Self-duplication If you want the normal pace of life but you still want to get things done faster, you might consider this underrated power: the ability to split yourself into multiple versions of yourself. This way you could enjoy your date with coed downstairs, while having some video game time with your peeps and attending that lecture in your “Quantum Particle Physics” class. I feel sorry for the version of you that has to go to class. 7. Sorcery This is a broad power with so many applications. You could summon the spirits of Aristotle or Goethe to teach you Philosophy firsthand, or Abraham Lincoln and Seneca to teach you about Political Science. You could enchant the object of your desire with a love charm or pronounce upon yourself a spell of dashing charisma. Or you could do a memory charm to make your professor think she gave you straight A’s for the term. Ah, the possibilities are endless. As a college student, which superpower would you want the most? Which power do you think would be the least helpful? Join the conversation in the comments below!