Layoffs | Online Career Training

Okay, so job growth is almost nil, 80,000 jobs were lost in March, the stock market is as erratic as Robin Williams on crack, the cost of gas is set to go up, the cost of grains is on the rise, and conditions are right for inflation to increase significantly. I think it’s time to face the facts and admit we’re in a recession. Of course, this means there is a higher-than-normal chance that you or someone you know could get laid off.

I hope you don’t. I hope I don’t. But just in case you or I do, I thought, “Why not just embrace this whole ‘The economy is going down the toilet’ thing?” You know, getting lemons and making lemonade and all that. That is, after all, the American way, right? (I don’t know. Maybe it’s just the American way for those Greatest Generation guys. We’re more like the Wimpiest, Most Spoiled Generation.)
Anyway, seeing as losing your job can leave you with some free time, I decided to compile a list of things to do to pass the time and maybe even start a whole new journey of enlightenment. It’s not the end of the world, after all. As depressing as getting let go can be, it might just be the catalyst that starts you on a path to the life you were always meant to have but never would have found otherwise:
1. Get another job.
I know, booooooorrring. You have an opportunity here to do something different. But if you’re strapped financially, you might have to go right back into the grind to make ends meet. Poor soul.
2. Travel the world.
If you’ve been putting it off and you’ve got the cash, why not give yourself and your loved ones the world tour you’ve been dreaming of. Learn to cliff dive in Acapulco. Surf the world’s meanest waves in Fiji. Speed down the Autobahn. Dare to eat haggis in Scotland. You’ll come back with a little dysentery but a lot of memories.
3. Create the perfect paper airplane.
For those motivated by inconsequential pursuits, the paper airplane is an old favorite just waiting to be reinvented. There are actual competitions out there with cash prizes. You could probably treat yourself to a hot dog as you clutch your first-place trophy. You could change the lives of third-graders and bored baseball fans everywhere.
4. Adopt a monastic lifestyle.
Can’t pay the bills and don’t feel like going back to Cubicle land? Trade in your professional attire and corporate office for some burlap robes and a life of introspection, serenity, and balance.
5. Start a new career.
Maybe you have some career that you have been putting off, like trout farming, racing, or pretty much any profession in the arts, in favor of a more lucrative, practical career. Being laid off can be a wonderful opportunity to sever ties with your old, stale career and charge headlong into the job you’ve always wanted to do.
6. Try out for a professional sports team.
Thousands out there loved playing sports in high school. Some, although they never made it to the professional level, still have some skills and a desire to show their stuff once more. As long as you’ve got some time on your hands, why not see if you can make it in the big leagues?
The worst thing that could happen: you find out you really weren’t good enough and you have some closure. The best thing that could happen: you get a million-dollar contract, fame, and recognition with a great team doing what you love and you never have to return to less desirable jobs. Think Invincible, The Natural, or The Rookie…
7. Volunteer for humanitarian service.
Now that you’re freed from the workaday world, how about all those good deeds you’ve been too busy to do? Opportunities abound in third-world countries for teaching, construction, and health care. Most international development and humanitarian relief organizations are constantly in need of more helping hands. If you don’t like working with them, why not create you own? You may never go back to filling the Man’s pocketbook.
8. Start your own business.
Almost everyone I’ve met, has an idea for a business they’d like to start sometime down the road. If you just got laid off, guess what? Down the road is here. You don’t have to worry about quitting your day job- that’s been done for you. Why not take your severance and put it into your big idea?
9. Go back to school.
Speaking of career changes, returning to get a degree can be a great way to initiate that change. School is also a great place to hide while the recession storm blows over. You have access to cheap federal student loans, grants, and scholarships to pay your living expenses while you just focus on learning. When the economy has cleared up and the job market is rosy, you will have another degree to put you ahead.
10. Go natural.
If things really get bad and you don’t feel inclined to do any of the above, return to nature. Learn to live off of tree bark, grubs, and tubers. Find a cozy cave somewhere and weave yourself some pants out of blades of grass… please. Yours will be the satisfaction of knowing you have completely escaped the daily grind and are now living in harmony with the earth.
See? Lay-offs aren’t so bad. As they say, “When one door closes, another opens.” Or, I hope at least a window… unless your older brother has jammed the door with a chair or something and nailed the windows shut. But that’s another story…
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