October 7, 2009 | Diane Johnson | Leave a comment When a girl comes to a guy and wants to tell him about her problems, she doesn't want solutions. After a really terrible experience or something really embarrassing happens, a girl wants a guy to listen. All she wants is someone to listen and offer comforting words. She isn't looking for solutions. I repeat; she isn't looking for solutions. Unless she specifically asks you for a suggestion on how to fix the situation, just shut up or else you're going to make her even angrier. This is the 411 the low down so if guys don't understand why they're making the girls in their life angry this will explain it. After one of the horrible incidents, a girl wants the guy to listen and say how sorry he is that happened to her or that the person was out of line. Whatever it is, play along because the girl wants you to listen, act astonished, and then you can talk about it. It might help to rag on the other person. It may also be helpful if you volunteer to give a back rub, hug, or rub their shoulders. These are comforting to the girl, and it allows them to relax. It would be exceptionally nice to if you offered to take them out for some ice cream or to get a drink. A little empathy goes a long ways. What girls do not want to hear is what they did wrong in the situation. I'm pretty sure the girl has already analyzed the situation, and doesn't need you to tell her why she failed at something. Despite what you may think, girls have a lot of common sense and don't need a guy to tell them why they failed on a test. They have already determined whether they need to study more, didn't understand the concept, were graded unfairly, if they forgot a part of the theory, they made stupid mistakes, or whatever it is. In the end, she knows the problem and she knows how to fix it. Just today I was in a conversation with a guy telling him what the problem was. He didn't even listen to the full story before he started offering suggestions. The point is that I wanted him to be annoyed just like I was. I had already taken care of the circumstance, but I just wanted him to listen. It was then that I flat out said "I don't want solutions I just wanted you to understand my frustration." This opened the lines of communication in the workplace because now he understands what I need from the conversation when I tell him something and I know that when he talks to me he wants solutions. Sometimes, it is easiest to just say what you want out of the conversation and you can actually cover what both parties in the conversation need. Because guys and girls think differently; maybe this will open up communication and everyone can get what they need out of the conversation. This is also part of the reason that having girlfriends is so important. They are very supportive and can give the kind of sympathy and support that many guys just can't seem to give. There is a difference in what the expectations are from the conversation and when you recognize what each other's needs in the conversation are, a lot can be accomplished and things run much smoother.